Hello Sir
by Aunty Lala
Summary: Just a little idea/one shot that occurred to me this is post-cannon for COE so spoilers if you haven't seen it. Jack has a new team and life goes on until something unexpected pops up in the Hub. Rated M for adult content.
1. Chapter 1

Jack looked around the Hub at his team. He was tired in the face of their enthusiasm. Bitter thoughts at the back of his mind left him wondering how long these ones would last. His eyes settled on Cara Lewis. She was his newest recruit, barely out of pigtails and still adjusting to wearing contact lens instead of glasses. He'd poached her away from a promising career in research at the Cardiff University. Now he wondered if she'd even live long enough to get her thesis published. His thoughts as he tried to recall what exactly it was about were fuzzy on the specifics. The bubbly blonde Cardiff native was always busy and never phased by life as a Torchwood agent at the ripe old age of twenty two. He just hoped she'd see twenty three. Maybe then he'd care about the details.

Gaze moving across the room he smiled as his eyes fell on the team's medic. Working away in his recently refurbished medical bay, was a softly spoken Scott he'd been sent by Torchwood Two. Meric stood a little over six foot four and his soft burr was unexpected in a man who looked like he'd be just as at home working on the docks. He was, as he'd heard it said, built like a brick shit house. At thirty six he was an oddity, having worked for Torchwood since graduating from the Edinburgh College of Medicine. He was good for the odd snarky comment but he wasn't up to the standards once set by Doctor Owen Harper. And unlike Owen, he'd never shagged any of his team mates, and always completed his paperwork. A sad smile crossed his lips at the idea that Ianto would have liked the gentle red giant, even if only for that.

Never far away, and trying, unsuccessfully, to flirt with Meric was Ana Williams, daughter of Anwen Williams and granddaughter of Gwen Cooper. She was an image cast identical to her gran, who had not been well pleased her granddaughter had sought out Jack and Torchwood. Ana had shown the familiar determination of a Cooper to join his team. Making Jack curious about exactly what sort of stories his former team member used to tell the children around her. A capable field agent, Ana was however (unlike Gwen) more likely to listen to instructions and chose to air her disagreements with him in private. Which was a pleasant change when it came to dealing with one of the Cooper/Williams women. Rhys had stopped speaking to him for the first year after hiring Ana, but they'd made their peace at the end.

Then there was his second in command. A man who was third generation military, formerly a member of the New Zealand armed forces. Possibly SAS but the chap was annoyingly reticent on that front. Sean Green. Like Meric he was also an imposing six foot four of solid muscle. He may have even been the one who coined the phrase built like a brick shit house. It was the sort of colourful expression the man was fond of throwing into the mix in his oddly colonial accent. But he could shoot the eyelashes off a rat in the rain and actually cook a decent curry. His significant other was a botanist named David who popped in with freshly made scones and homemade jam for the team with enough frequency to have his own entry codes. Both men were counting down to forty and seeing them together at times reminded him of what he had lost in Thames House so many years ago. They were together in a way he'd only begun being open to in his relationship with Ianto.

For someone with all of time to look forward to he knew there was no joy to be found in dwelling in memories and the lost opportunities of what could have been. So instead he looked down at his team, one of the longest held teams he'd had in more years than he cared to recall. They blurred after a while and it was only the apocalyptic nature of their job that served to mark time for him any more. Today was quite and Jack didn't feel like being sociable as he called out to everyone and sent them home. Or in the case of the two girls, Christmas shopping. Retreating into his office and a glass of scotch he sipped slowly as they all called out their farewells leaving him alone. Always alone.

Looking expectantly towards the doorway of his office he found no shade of Ianto waiting for him to indicate if they were staying in, or heading back to the flat. No cup of coffee and post it note with a promise of a blow job or naked hide and seek if he finished the paperwork. No softly whispered words spoken in Welsh as they fell asleep together. Nothing but an empty Hub filled with bitter memories of every one he'd ever lost. Along with the unspoken promise of everyone he was still going to loose. Head falling forward onto the ever present paperwork he didn't even acknowledge the sound of the glass exploding as it shattered against his office wall. Throwing it at ghosts he left the heavy tumbler where the pieces fell as what now passed for sleep claimed him.

–/-/-/-/–/-/-/-/–/-/-/-

Opening his eyes Jack ignored the coffee placed in front of him. He stretched out his neck, trying to recall why he felt sleeping at his desk was ever a good idea when clearly his neck and back were telling him otherwise. He might be immortal and require very little sleep but it helped if it was in an actual bed. Looking up at the green eyes of his medic he barely acknowledged the man's greeting.

'Drew the short straw did you?'  
'Nope, I just didn'a think you wanted wee Ana bouncing in here instead.'  
Jack flashed a smile as he rose to his feet. 'You may have a point, she's very much like her gran that one.'  
'Oh I know and I only met the woman a few times.'  
'There are few things quite as scary, or formidable, as a Welsh Granny.'  
Meric harrumphed. 'Perhaps, except a Scottish one.'  
This time Jack laughed as he moved out of his office and onto the platform above the main Hub floor. 'That I shall have to concede to you, since I've not had much experience with such women.'  
'Oh aye, you think the wee lassies gran was game.' Meric muttered to himself as he followed Jack.

Looking up from a piece of alien tech she was tinkering with, possibly in an effort to look busy, Ana frowned. 'You're not drinking the coffee I made you.'  
'Oh, that was for drinking? My fountain pen had run out of ink, I thought you were sending fresh supplies.' He grinned as her eyes darkened and he picked up the distinct sound of Welsh muttering. 'I know what you're saying young lady.' Having finally given in he was fast learning all the words they didn't teach students of the Welsh language. Unless that was part of the advanced course he'd yet to complete. 'Casting aspersions on the validity of my parents marriage wont change the fact you can't make coffee.'  
'It makes me feel better.'

'Yes well, so does eating an entire box of chocolates but it never quite takes the edge off for the rest of us. But why don't I go and get us something from the coffee hut out in the Plass while you express your dire outrage at me and how unfair I'm being while I'm out.' He patted her on the cheek and moved towards the invisible lift, glad that in rebuilding the Hub, Gwen had managed to maintain that as part of the overall refurbishments. After saving the country the government were remarkably apologetic about trying to blow up him and the Hub in the overall cluster fuck that was the 456 incident. It was so many lifetimes ago and it often amazed him how much he gave for this planet and yet he'd do it all over again. After all, the twenty first century was when everything changed.

Returning with coffee the lift descended into the Hub revealing Meric tapping away at Cora's workstation while Ana held a gun on someone. As he reached the floor and the lift clicked into place, he turned to see what the cause of the excitement was. Promptly dropping the coffees as the most perfect Welsh vowels filled the space between them.

'Hello Sir. Did you miss me?'


	2. Chapter 2

Time for Ianto Jones was not measured in a linear progression like the previous twenty six years of his life, but rather in a series of blood tests, scans and examinations. His, hosts, as they preferred to consider themselves, were charged with the critical mission of saving their entire species. An admirable task that lead them to extract beings of medical interest to examine. They were using a combination of the unpredictable energies of the rift (the first clue this was a fools errand in his mind) and just a little luck fueled by an over abundance of self confidence. Not a combination designed to leave Ianto and his previous experience of such things with any feelings of comfort or confidence in the likely success of their endeavors.

They, being the little grey men of every alien abduction story he'd ever found online or in the tabloids. A race Jack always said where two parts benign and three parts myth, dying out somewhere in the twenty fifth century, earth time equivalent. Having watched them Ianto was hardly surprised as to why. Perhaps instead of abducting American's and him, if they had concentrated on doctors and scientists like Tosh or Owen, they might have stood a better chance at succeeding. But they had saved him, and promised to return him to Jack if he complied with their needs. So he couldn't hold their methods completely against them. Assuming they had comparable anatomy to humans their hearts were in the right place, otherwise this really was a fools errand.

It did cross his mind, as he found himself staring down the barrel of a gun held by a woman who looked almost identical to his memories of Gwen, that perhaps he should have known better than to trust his host's sense of timing. Suspecting that he'd been gone longer than expected. The Hub itself looked largely unchanged, complete with desk covered in post it notes scribbled over with complex mathematical calculations. Although the rather tall man typing away in his a lab coat didn't look like he was having much luck with what Ianto suspected was a rift predictor program. Perhaps it wasn't his usual role. The Gwen look a like was an interesting addition and Ianto could see by the way she held her gun and her stance that she was certainly a good copy but not the original edition.

What hadn't changed was the man descending into the Hub, smelling like sex and coffee. The two things he'd most missed and hadn't had in a time longer than he cared to remember. He straightened his tie and looked at Jack. 'Hello Sir. Did you miss me?'

Ana narrowed her gaze at the intruder, her annoyance bleeding into her tone. 'You don't get to ask the questions.'  
'No.' Jack spoke softly. 'That would be my job.'  
'In the interrogation room Sir? Or the cell next to Janet?'  
With no coffees to hold Jack shoved his hands in his pockets to stop himself reaching out for the man standing before him, ignoring the young woman and her gun. A man who looked exactly like the same man who died in his arms so many years ago. 'Who are you?'  
'Jones, Ianto Jones. Employee number two five four seven eight six dash one nine eight, eight three. Archivist, field agent and general support, recruited by Torchwood Institute in London 2005, then employed here in Cardiff in 2007.'

Ana shook her head. 'Ianto Jones died in London. In 2009.'  
'I do recall the experience.' Ianto deadpanned. 'I was there you know.'  
'That's impossible.' She snapped.  
Ianto snapped back. 'You must be new.'

Jack laughed, walking around Ianto he was torn between the need for the man standing there to be who he said he was, and fear in equal measures that he both was and wasn't Ianto Jones. He was a good replica at first glance if he was a fake, down to the suit being identical, minus the jacket, to the one Ianto wore the day he'd died. 'You haven't said anything that isn't a matter of record, you've told me nothing about who you are or why you're here.'  
Spinning in place Ianto maintained eye contact with Jack. 'Fifty first century, Boshane Peninsula.'  
Jack shrugged. 'Neither of which are essentially secrets.'  
Ana lowered her gun. 'Boshane Peninsula?'  
'It's where I was born.' His tone dismissive as he focused on the man.  
Ianto snickered. 'Now I know she's not Gwen.'  
'No but I'm her -.'

Jack cut her off. 'No. Until we assess the risk and who he really is, you tell him nothing.'  
'Daughter? Or granddaughter?' Ianto shook his head. 'How long have I been gone?'  
Ana's laugh was harsh in the stillness around them. 'What? You don't even know what year it is?'  
Ianto rolled his eyes at her petulant tone. 'If I knew I wouldn't have asked.'  
'Whatever, look at your clothes, no one dresses like that except the toffs. And no matter how you sound you clearly aren't from around here.'  
'I was born in Newport but no one's held that against me before now. And it isn't so much a matter of where I'm from as when, is it.' He looked from the taller man in the white coat to Jack. 'Please tell me she is got the job because she's pretty.'

No longer forgotten where he stood working on the computer at Cora's desk Meric snickered. 'Oh I like you.'  
Looking over Ianto nodded. 'Thank you, I take it you are the team's doctor.'  
'Aye, and I'd love to know how you could be alive if you're who you really say you are.'  
Jack privately agreed. 'I think we all want to know that.'  
'We cheated death every day Sir. Well.' He paused. 'Except the last time. As to proving who I am, I don't suppose the code for the secure archives is still the same.'  
'It would not be.'  
'And my coffee machine got destroyed so I can't make you a cup of coffee to prove it that way.'

'Oh my god, what was it with the legendary Ianto Jones and his bloody coffee?' Ana looked at Jack. 'That's all Gwen ever wanted, one more bloody cup of coffee.' She turned back to the man claiming to be Ianto Jones. 'I don't care how wizard you were at making coffee, no one's that good.'  
'You really are a petulant child. Someone needs to send you to your room to calm down.'  
Ana snarled. 'You can't tell me what to do, no matter who you are.'  
Jack shook his head. 'Enough!' He pointed to Ana. 'Go away, find something to do that doesn't involve disobeying me and sniping at him like someone stole your Christmas presents.' He considered the look on her face. 'Before I do send you to your room.'

'And where will you send me, Sir?'  
Jack sighed. 'That sort of depends on how much of you is Ianto Jones.'  
Ignoring that remark Ianto asked the next obvious question. 'How long have I been gone?'  
'Thames House was fifty years ago.'  
Ianto sank in to a chair. 'Oh Jack.'  
'So convince me that I should believe you are who you say you are.'  
'I'm not sure what I can say to prove who I am.'

Meric wondered forward. 'I can run some blood tests, compare it to your old file.'  
'Ah,' Ianto responded. 'You do that and I rather think I'll end up in next to Janet after all.'  
'Now why would you say that?'  
Ianto recognized the danger in Jack's tone. 'Take your sample and get your medic to tell you, I'm not sure you'd believe me otherwise.' He rolled his sleeve up.  
'Step into my office.'  
'Said the spider to the fly.' Ianto muttered as he rose to his feet and followed the doctor.

Jack pulled a chair over and sat opposite the man now sitting in the Hub's medlab, claiming  
to be back from the dead. 'Pretending I believe you, how are you alive, where were you and how long were you there?'  
'I don't understand all the details, but apparently I was snatched because of you.' He watched Jack's eyes narrow and continued. 'In Thames House, you kissed me. I hoped it was because of your affection for me, even if you didn't want me to tell you I love you. Then I started to wonder if you were trying to pass some of your energy to me.'  
'Go on.'

Ianto took that as confirmation and continued. 'That energy caught the attention of a group of little grey men.'  
Jack scoffed. 'They're an urban legend.'  
'Like fairies?' Ianto ignored the look now painted across his face. 'They used their knowledge and technology to counter the gas the 456 released. Between that and the energy you did impart in me, I came back.'  
'What technology?'  
'Run your blood tests, I believe that should tell you.'  
'I want to believe you Ianto I do, but I have to know, you have to understand that.'  
'I understand standard Torchwood procedures mean we should be having this conversation in a cell, so I do appreciate the discretion you are showing me, Sir.'  
Jack sighed, he wanted so desperately to believe this was Ianto but he couldn't let his heart break again if it turned out he wasn't. It then occurred to him that there might be another reason for the faint aura of hostility the man was radiating.

'How long ago was your last cup of coffee?'  
'That would have been in the abandoned Torchwood One warehouse in London. About twenty minutes after the last time we shagged, if memory serves. Which according to my personal time line, was about two years ago.'  
'That must have been a challenge.'  
'I'd been dead for several weeks by the time they revived me, it was the least of my concerns as I recall.'

'Tell me what you know he's going to find.' Jack indicated Meric working behind them. 'When he finishes analyzing your blood.'  
'My DNA should be mostly unchanged but there is a nano component to my blood chemistry that wasn't there before.'  
'Nanotechnology?'  
'Apparently they got their hands on a Chula hospital ship at some point but the nanogenes were unable to stop the grey alien's wasting disease.'

'If everyone was already contaminated then Chula nanogenes wouldn't be able to help without a clean sample.' Jack grinned. 'I was still mortal when I last encountered them, that's how I met the Doctor.'  
'Yes, dancing during the London Blitz whilst running a con that nearly destroyed the city, very romantic Sir.'  
'Don't knock it, that version of the Doctor could really move, and I'm not the same man I was then.'  
'No, I don't believe you are.'

Interrupting the two men Meric handed a print out to Jack. 'Sorry to cut in, but according to these results, this man here is your long lost tea boy according to his file.' He laughed. 'It's actually labelled "tea boy". But there's something in his blood I've not seen before.'  
Ianto gave the doctor a faint smile. 'I believe I know where you are about to go with this and I would have to strongly protest at being used as a lab rat once more.'  
'I don't fancy it would make any difference anyway, I'm running a few tests on the sample I took but  
it looks like whatever the aliens did you to, it's not transferable in vitro.'  
'That I suspect, was the only reason the little grey men kept their promise to send me home. I was no further use to them if I was unrepeatable.'  
Meric shrugged. 'First rule of scientific research is to replicate the results.'

Jack handed the paper back to the doctor and grinned at Ianto, reaching for his hand. 'So, according to that print out, you really are, you.' Allowing himself to touch as their fingers met.  
'Yep.'  
'Back from the dead.'  
'Apparently so.' Ianto echoed Jack's grin with a smile of his own until realization struck him. 'Oh bugger.'  
The grin faded. 'What?'  
'Do you have any idea how much paperwork this is going to generate?'  
'Think of the back pay.'  
Ianto rolled his eyes. 'Yes Sir, there is that to take into consideration.' He sighed. 'Do you think I could I get an advance on my wages? I don't really fancy spending any more time than I have to wearing the same clothes I died in.'

Jack's face flushed with colour. 'I ah, may have kept some of your clothes, here.'  
'As opposed to the storage unit by the docks?'  
'It was more convenient?'  
'To keep my clothes?'  
Jack nodded. 'I packed most of them so they should be fine, air them out maybe first. You could be a bit retro not that I'd know if suits have changed much.'  
'I'm not worried about being retro Jack.'

Pulling Ianto into his arms Jack finally let himself believe this might actually be real. 'I couldn't let you go. I never got to say how much I.' He buried his face in Ianto's shoulder, afraid to speak least his voice betray him. Melting as he felt arms wrap around him and hold him close.  
'I understand Jack, really I do. But if you think you will get away without saying it, eventually, then you will just wish I'd put you on decaf.'  
'I love you Ianto Jones.' Jack whispered. 'And I hope it isn't creepy that I have one or two of your suits here, in my wardrobe.' He looked at Ianto though his lowered eyelashes, waiting.  
'Just as well really, it will take weeks to sort the bloody paperwork out and get a new credit card. Never mind finding a new flat.'  
'Oh, I ah, may have sort of brought the building your old flat was in.'

Ianto stepped back and groaned at just how sheepish Jack looked, hands dropped to his side as he stared at his shoes. 'Please tell me I'm not going to find some creepy shrine.'  
'No.' Jack shook his head as he began moving towards his office.  
Ianto followed. 'But you emptied the fridge, right?'  
Jack scratched his head. 'Well yeah, I'm not totally incompetent.'  
'Never said you were. Why did you buy the building?'  
'I already had a key?' Jack grinned, meeting Ianto's eyes. 'I didn't realize you owned the building your flat was in.'  
'What else was I going to spend my money on.'

'Your sister put it up for sale so I brought it, contents included. Or the ones I hadn't already liberated. Moving on. It's a good location and it seemed like a sound investment opportunity.' He moved to close his office door. 'But I've got those clothes in my room, or you can wear some of mine if you want to get out of that suit.'  
'Is this you trying to get me naked Sir?'  
He shrugged. 'Could be.'

The office door closed and Ianto watched as the glass went opaque after the lock was snibbed.  
'I have missed you, so, so much.' Pulling Ianto into his arms once more.  
'I think I have an idea of just how much, unless you've taken to keeping more than your phone in that pocket, Sir.'  
'Oh that's not my phone. But come on, when we rebuilt the place I had a few changes made, bunker's a bit bigger and I had the plumbing upgraded.'

Ianto pulled out of Jack's reach. 'Are you seeing anyone Jack?' Watching as the man shook his head.  
'I haven't been a monk, I am Captain Jack Harkness, but you're not interrupting anything.' He stepped closer to Ianto, reaching out to brush his fingertips across the younger man's cheekbones. 'You were sort of, a hard act to follow.'  
'Well, we better see if we both remember how this works.'  
Jack grinned. 'I think I can still remember what goes where.'  
'Good.' Ianto pulled away and climbed down into Jack's room. 'If you think you can keep up, that is.'

He stopped when his feet hit the floor of the bunker. 'A few changes?' He moved around the room and tried not to remember how many times they'd fallen out of the army cot Jack used to sleep in.  
Jack shrugged. 'I got used to your bed, it was a bit bigger than mine. But wait until you check the shower out.' He pulled Ianto towards the bathroom. 'It's got jets and everything.'  
Ianto laughed. 'You really think I care about the shower right now?' Dropping Jack's hand he began working on the buttons of his waist coat. 'We've got more important things to catch up about than your water pressure.' Letting the cloth fall to the floor he stepped forward as he began working on the buttons of his shirt. His smile soft in the half light of the bunker, watching Jack palm his crotch and swallow sharply.  
'Oh, well, when you put it like that...' His voice trailed off as Ianto revealed the perfection of his skin with each shirt button he snapped open.

Clothes soon discarded Jack and Ianto leaped on each other as they tumbled onto the bed.  
'What are these pillows made of Jack, they are amazing.'  
'Bamboo and flax fibre or something. Mattress too, I thought I could use a treat.'  
Ianto grinned as he reached for the lube he'd spotted on the bedside table. 'Oh I think we both know you're in for that all right.'  
'Too much talk Jones, why don't you shut up and.' His breath hitched as lubed fingers breached his entrance. 'That's good.'  
Soft laughter mingled with hungry kisses as Ianto worked Jack open, judging the man ready he slid home with a muted cry.


	3. Chapter 3

A sated Jack pulled Ianto into his arms and kissed his forehead.  
'Not bad for someone born seventy five years ago.'  
'Seventy six.' Ianto mumbled, curling into Jack. 'Although biologically I think I'm still twenty six.'  
'I gave up trying to work that sort of thing out a long time ago. It's only important when I need to update paperwork.'  
'Something else to look forward to.' Ianto muttered dryly.  
'What I don't understand.' Jack began running his fingers though Ianto's hair. 'Is how you're here.'  
'You think I know?' Ianto snorted. 'I put some of it together, I mean what else was I going to do, learn to crochet? You are familiar with Chula nanogeens aren't you.'  
Jack nodded although it wasn't a question.  
'As you mentioned before, they need a clear DNA reference.'

'Or they improvise.' Sometimes it still woke him in the night when he remembered in dreams the chilling cry of a child looking for it's mother. 'I'm familiar with the phenomenon.'  
'Between your kiss with your life force, and your, ah.' Ianto paused. 'Genetic material from the last time we were, together...' His voice trailed off in the face of Jack's realization.  
'We didn't have any condoms, and when we, and you're saying.' He laughed. 'Those clever little buggers. You're saying you think the Chula nanogenes used my, genetic material, as a reference sample along with my life force and your DNA to repair the damage from the gas. Bringing you back.'  
'Yep.'

Reaching for Ianto's arm he turned it looking for the site where Meric had withdrawn blood not more than an hour ago. 'Which is why your arm's already healed. So does that mean you're now...'  
Ianto shrugged. 'I'm not sure and I haven't exactly tested that particular hypothesis.'  
'Nor should you.' Jack scrambled back until he was sitting up.  
Ianto followed Jack's example, sitting back against the wall behind them. 'I heal faster and don't need as much sleep as I used to. But beyond that.' He shrugged.

'I guess we'll find out if you start to age or not.'  
'I suppose so.' He sighed softly. 'Speaking of age, what about my sister?'  
'Last spring, but you're a great-uncle now. David has three kids and four grandchildren.'  
'Micha?'  
'Two sons but no grandchildren yet.'  
He gave Jack a sad smile. 'You kept an eye on them didn't you.'  
'Of course, I mean, they were a part of you. Both of them went to Uni and live good lives.'  
Ianto blinked the tears away, his voice breaking. 'But I've missed everything.'

Pulling him into his arms Jack rubbed circles into his skin. 'I know it wasn't what either of us wanted Ianto, but you are back now.'  
'I can't exactly turn up for Christmas lunch though, can I.'  
'You could if you said you were your long lost grandson.'  
'Like you have?'  
'You do what you have to.'  
Saved from replying both men looked around at the sound of banging coming from Jack's office and a muffled voice filtered down to them.

'Oi. I know you are in there Jack, with some dead bloke.'

'Who's that?'  
'My second in command, Sean. He's from New Zealand.'  
'Oh, good.' Ianto climbed out of Jack's arms and the bed. 'Someone who might actually understand the no forward passing rule in rugby.'  
Jack frowned as he began pulling clothes on. 'You'll have to explain that to me later.'  
'Wouldn't be the first time. But where will I find some clothes?'  
'Wardrobe's that door there.' He pointed. 'I'll do what I can to stem the invading hordes.'  
Ianto leaned in for a kiss before nodding. 'Shut the hatch when you do please, no one else needs to see my arse today.'  
'Oh no, I'm keeping that on a strictly need to know footing.'  
He rolled his eyes at Jack's leer while watching him climb the ladder.

Jack reached the door of his office just as it swung open to reveal Sean pocketing a collection of small tools. 'You'll have to explain the breaking and entering fetish later.'  
'Of course. But that would be after you tell me why, as your second in command, I wasn't informed of a potential situation that arose in my absence.'  
'I've been handing things that arise in your absence for some time now.' Jack winked. 'You should have said if you wanted to lend me a, ah helping hand.'  
Sean crossed his arms across his well defined chest and looked down at Jack.  
'You may be the commanding officer. Sir.' He emphasized. 'But your dead lover returning from the grave is a matter of Hub security and something I should have been told about, straight away.'

They were interrupted by a laugh as a head of dark messy hair climbed up out of the bunker below the office floor. 'I'm sorry Sir, but are you getting told off?'  
'In my own office? Never.'  
'It really did sound like a spanking to me, Sir.' Ianto responded.  
'I'll show you a spanking -.'  
'I hate to interrupt your foreplay.' Sean cut in. 'But have you had Mr Jones here fully cleared?'  
'Following a very thorough physical exam including a comprehensive study of his reflexes, as conducted by myself, yes.'

Ianto stood beside Jack who gave him a quick once over as he stood there in borrowed jeans and a knitted Christmas tree sweater.  
Jack shrugged. 'He did use to dress better but I assure you, this is absolutely, my Ianto Jones.'  
'And you can say that with one hundred percent certainty?'  
Ianto looked at the taller man, something in his tone tugged at his awareness as Jack blundered forward, as usual.  
'Of course I'm certain.'

'Even though Meric hasn't, in fact, completed a comprehensive, medical or physical evaluation? And you're sure this is not only, your, Mr Jones, but that he poses no biological hazard to any of us.'  
'Oh relax, the Hub sensors didn't pick anything up and he's hardly going to kill me.'  
'It's not your death that concerns me.'  
'Sometimes.' Jack observed. 'You're no fun.'  
'You didn't hire me for my sense of humour. Med bay, both of you, now.'  
Jack turned to Ianto. 'Come on, we'll send Ana out for pizza and coffee or something. He is right, I didn't hire him for his sense of comedic timing.' Reaching for Ianto he entwined their hands together as they moved out of his office.

–/-/-/-/–/-/-/-/–/-/-/-

Reaching the medical area Ianto caught the end of a conversation between a young blonde woman, complete with Cardiff accent, and a chastised looking Meric.

'He has a point Meric. No one's actually cleared the guy.'  
'Not you too Cora, I mean how was I supposed to know they weren't actually just talking, like Jack said they would.'  
She snorted. 'Jack? Just talking? To the lover who died in his arms fifty years ago who just so happens to be back from the dead? The one he still calls out for every time he comes back after he dies? And you thought they'd actually be discussing something like who won the last Rugby World Cup?' Head shaking she laughed sharply. 'You really are oblivious sometimes.'  
'Well I'm sorry. I was distracted by the sample I had, okay. And you're hardly one to talk about getting so absorbed in your work.'

Sean cleared his throat. 'You done?'  
Meric looked down at his hands as he nodded. 'Yeap.'  
'Good, now finish giving Mr Jones a physical.'  
Jack frowned. 'I am still in command here.'  
'Oh right, because you are making all the sensible decisions.' Sean rolled his shoulders. 'For all I know the, what percentage was it again, Meric?'  
He mumbled a reply.  
'Sorry old bean, I missed that. Speak up please.'  
Cora shook her head. 'One point four.'  
'Thank you Cora.' Sean turned back to Jack. 'For all any of us know, the one point four percent of Mr Jones that isn't actually Mr Jones, was releasing some sort of mind control pheromones.' He smiled.

It reminded Ianto of a shark.

'The correct Torchwood protocol, as I understand it, would have been to escort Mr Jones to a cell, not strip him naked and leap on him.'  
Jack pouted. 'He leaped on me actually.'  
'Don't care.'

Ianto looked between the members of Jack's team and mentally replayed the conversation that was going on around him. 'I'm not completely me am I.'  
Meric reached for his paperwork. 'According to your file your DNA is only 99 percent you.'  
'99 percent?' Ianto asked.  
'Well, rounded up, yes. And there's something else in your blood, the normal gear didn't pick up but I used a Thulidian scanner we found while out in the, oh.' He took in the look on Sean's face. 'That's not important. I used it on the sample and found, something.'  
'Probably the Chula nanogenes and I'm guessing the different DNA is Jack's.'  
Meric frowned. 'Well, yeah.'  
'I did wonder. When the aliens that snatched my body resurrected me the nanogenes must have used some of Jack's DNA and in the process altered mine slightly.'

Ana waded into the conversation. 'Hang on, you were snatched?'  
Ianto turned to her and nodded. 'Yep.'  
'By aliens?'  
'Ah ha.'  
'Body snatching aliens?'  
'Yes.'  
'That's wicked that is.'  
Ianto turned to Jack who shrugged.  
'I know Ianto, just like Gwen.'  
He rolled his eyes. 'I still say you got the retcon dose wrong, that's why it never held.'  
Ana frowned. 'That's my gran you're talking about.'  
Ianto nodded, turning his best Butler like smile on her. 'I am aware of exactly the sort of woman your gran was.'

The tone of his voice left no doubt that Gwen Cooper apparently had sins of her own to account for. And his smile was not much friendlier than Sean's.

Breaking the growing chill in the air Jack clapped his hands. 'Ana, it's occurred to me we've probably missed a meal. I want you to get some take out, and coffee for everyone.' He nodded, watching as she shook her head before turning on her heal. Looking back at the rest of his team he shrugged. 'Now, if I recall correctly we were talking about my stripping Ianto and leaping on him?'  
'Not quite.' Sean responded. 'But he is getting a full physical before he steps out of the med bay a second time.' He faced the medic with all the presence of his rank as a former Sargent condensed into a single look.

Meric pulled himself together. 'So, um, Ianto. Mr Jones.' He corrected as Sean nodded at him. 'If you could remove your shirt.'  
'And me with no popcorn.' Jack pulled a chair up and began making himself comfortable. 'Even if I can assure all of you that I've personally been over every inch of the man already.'  
Ianto gave Jack a look. 'The audience, while entertaining, is perhaps a little unnecessary, Sir.'  
'So formal.' Jack suppressed a shiver. 'Just trying to be helpful.'  
'Thank you Sir.' Ianto pulled the sweater over his head, disappearing in a mist of red and green wool before emerging in one of Jack's white tees. 'However perhaps you could start on the paperwork that will need to be filled out, about my return from the dead. Rather than being helpful, here.'

'I don't remember you being this bossy.' Jack muttered, rising from the chair. 'And if I don't want to miss the show?'  
'A little less show would be appreciated.'  
He nodded. 'Fine, but I get a personal one later.'  
'Of course.'  
Jack grinned before turning to those of his team still present. 'Right you lot, sling it. If I don't get to watch you don't either.'  
Cora gave Jack and Ianto a grin of her own before heading to her desk but Sean stood his ground.  
'A senior officer, not you Jack, needs to remain least our guest need assistance.'  
'Restraining.' Ianto muttered, nodding to Jack in unspoken assurance before turning to Meric. 'Very well, lets get this over with.' The tee shirt joining the sweater.

–/-/-/-/–/-/-/-/–/-/-/-

Reviewing his findings Meric handed his notes to Sean. 'No pathogens, pollen or spores. He's completely clean and exactly who he says he is.'  
'I've also got perfect hearing and am still in the room.'  
Sean shrugged as he handed the file back to the doctor. 'Protocols exist for a reason and you should know that since you were the last one to update most of them, Mr Jones.'  
'Why doesn't that surprise me. And you can call me Ianto.'  
'I'll take that under advisement.'  
'You do that, Mr Green. And am I free to go?'  
'Of course.'  
'Then I shall assess the coffee situation in the absence of Ms Williams with our lunch.'

Sean watched him leave before turning to his team mate. 'Any idea what we can expect from our new team member?'  
'A happier Jack and decent coffee?' Meric shrugged. 'We haven't got anything on him except the records I pulled from the server. Cora might find something but the man's a bloody urban legend and other than stories Ana was told by her gran, Jack's the only one alive who knew the guy.'

'Jack returning from the dead we've all had to get used to. But this guy what, got beamed in by aliens or just stepped out of the rift or something, fifty years after he died?'  
'Yeah.' He grinned. 'That is pretty cool.'  
'If you say so.'  
'He can't be all bad, he's got Ana in a right mood.'  
Sean finally smiled. 'I saw that.'  
'Oh you didn't see the half of it.'  
'Really?'  
'Ah ha.'


	4. Chapter 4

Jack looked up from the piles of paper scattered about his desk at the realization he was no longer alone. He smiled at that, wondering just how true the thought was. 'You sure you wouldn't rather just create a whole new fake identity?'  
Ianto leaned in the door frame. 'It would be less paperwork wouldn't it.'  
Jack leaned back and smiled. 'I've missed your voice and your beautiful vowels.'  
'Only my voice?'  
'Nope.' Jack pulled to his feet and reached for Ianto. 'Missed your coffee too.'  
'I'll need to get to the store on that front and stock up again.'  
'I really have missed you. All of you, so much.' Wrapping himself around his lover. 'I was starting to think I loved a ghost but you, you're real.'

'I am, although it does create it's own complications. Not least of all my needing a new wardrobe even if you do have my stuff in storage.'  
'We'll figure it out, we're Torchwood, it's what we do.'  
Ianto breathed in Jack's pheromones, letting the familiar action ground him. 'Meric couldn't tell if I've acquired your immortality or not. But for as long as I am here, I hope we can figure it out together because I'm yours Jack.'  
'And I'm yours Ianto. Always have been.'

Grinning Ianto looked behind him to a forgotten coat rack and an old grey coat. 'Do you still wear it?'  
Spinning around Jack grinned. 'Some of my best memories involve that coat.'  
Wrapped securely in Jack and echoing something he'd said when he first realized his attraction to Jack was more than just a means to get into Torchwood, he simply responded. 'Mine too, I love that coat.'

Out in the Hub a blaring proximity alarm pulled them from their embrace. Moving together they left the office and found themselves staring down at a familiar figure in tight pants and an unbuttoned red Napoleonic coat.  
'Jackie. I see you got my gift. I mean what else do you get the man who can't die, for Christmas.'

Jack looked at Sean with his gun held on their intruder and nodded. 'This time we follow the established protocols.'  
'Thank you Jack.' Sean gave the red coated man a smile that he knew wasn't even close to friendly. 'John Hart I believe?'  
'Erm, yes?'  
'If you will remove your weapons and wrist strap I'll have our very best cell made ready for you.'  
'All I wanted was a thank you, that was some of my best work although the delivery took longer than expected.' He called over his shoulder as he began moving towards where he remembered the cells were. 'Would a simple threesome be too much to ask...'

Looking at Ianto, Jack frowned. 'I would be thanking him why?'  
'Not really sure unless.' Ianto stepped back into his memories and tried to find any hint of the rouge time agent.  
Jack watched as Ianto shook his head. 'Nothing?'  
'Nope. Things were a little fuzzy for a while there. Not including the whole, I was dead thing.'  
'You don't think...' Jack let his thoughts trail off before he shook his head. 'He couldn't have.'  
Ianto met his thought somewhere in the middle of his own denial. 'I'm sure his comment had nothing to do with the little grey aliens knowing exactly when to snatch my body.'  
'Or how to bring you back.' Jack finished.  
They looked at each other and both shook their heads.  
'Na.'  
'No way.'

Locked in a cell John settled back on the bed and crossed an ankle over his knee. Humming a traditional Christmas tune from his childhood he smiled as he wondered if this time, he could count his debt to Jack as paid, in full.


End file.
